✡ I have been wondering why I am seen as not being romantic and sensitive. I think it is because I can be verbally aggressive and like to argue. People therefore assume I must be insensitive or not romantic.
I think most people seem to think there is a inverse relationship between being logical and being emotional – for the sake of simplicity I am going to say that emotional=romantic and logical=insensitive, I know this is a gross oversimplification buy hear me out so I can get to my point. I guess I think this notion flawed for me. It might be ok for most people.
Here is the deal: I am not that simple and I not most people.
For all of my “marriage sucks”, “pet cemetery relationship” rants, deriding the falseness of love in our society, the casual nature of people moving in together only to have a huge mess to clean up when the relationship fails, and all my other rants there is a message and a theme.
I want people, wait I want me and the people I am in relationships with – from dog walker to husband – to be thoughtful about what this means.
So you might be thinking what the hell does this mean?
This means, what does the relationship mean to you? Are you willing to accept that the person you are with does and will have flaws, some substantive? Are you willing to talk about what might happen if the relationship dissolves? Are you willing to talk about any subject with each other? Are you willing to take all the good with the bad? Have you thought about how his family is Turkish and yours is Haitian? Have you sat down and thought as much about what this means to you as you do your choice of coffee at Starbucks, the car you drive, or the place you want to go on vacation next?
So you might be thinking this isn’t romantic at all. Well guess what, it is very romantic. It is the most romantic thing in the world to show the person you care about that you have put the time and thought into love before you say the word, to be exactly certain that you mean it.
This isn’t meant to diminish that feeling of “OMG I want to look into his big blue eyes for the rest of my life” at all. That part is the magical part right? This is the part that makes this all so addictive. But as time goes on, the love can be interrupted by the aforementioned flaws.
So again, the most romantic thing you can do is to know, the best you ever can, which isn’t always that much, that you put some thought into this and then say it, “I love you.”
The opposite is the erosion & vapidity of words. No one wants to hear I love you and know you don’t mean it.
And here we are at the end where you might be thinking, this is all so impossible, nobody is ever sure they are in love, sure they want to move in, or ever will live happily ever after, etc…
EXACTLY, so my ideal of this, which is only attainable in a modest way, makes me a romantic.